Labyrinth: A Very Odd Adventure
by ABBIE-ET-CELIA
Summary: Celia knows the Goblin King. Abbie wants to meet him. Pretty much a retelling of our adventure in the labyrinth, with some slightly odd twists.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: ** Right, so, we got this little idea from a conversation a we I had on MSN a couple days ago consisting of Celia knowing the Goblin King. I wanted to meet him, and Celia, being the amazing friend she is, said she could take me. So, TADA, here it is! Our very own adventure in the Labyrinth. Told from Abbie's very morphed point of view.

**Disclaimer:** Yeah, so we're pretty sure we don't own The Labyrinth or anything in it, Band Aids, Fruit Roll Ups, Beth or any random lines from movies that might pop in and scare you.

0000000

"I WANNA MEET HIM! I WANNA MEET HIM!"

"Well then, I'll take you there. We'll go tomorrow. Bring snacks, he likes Fruit Roll Ups"

"And Band Aids".

"Well, yeah, 'cause you never know. " (1)

"That's so weird..." I mused.

"What is?" Celia asked.

"We both like Fruit Roll Ups" I sighed happily.

0000000

I Smiled inwardly. I could not believe it. Me, Abbie, the girl who was voted shyest in her grade eight graduating class, standing in front of the castle beyond the goblin city. It still boggles my mind.

I turned to Celia. My favourite person EVER. She was the one who got me here. She apparently knows the Goblin King. You see, a close friend of mine, Beth went a little overboard with the consumption of alcohol and wished Celia away. Amazingly, she ran the Labyrinth drunk and still won. Yeah, my friends are awesome.

So there we stood. "Ya ready?" Celia asked.

I pffted, "Of course." Okay, so I lied. But it's not everyday you get to meet the freakin' Goblin King, for crying out loud! I was all gun-hoe about it at first, but the novelty wore off. Quickly. I fidgeted nervously with the box of Fruit Roll Ups in my hands. I grabbed the Band Aids from Celia  
and shoved the Fruit Roll Ups in her hands.

I smiled, "What? I feel better knowing I have Band Aids incase something happens, okay?" I put them in my pocket.

"Well yeah" Celia started. "Because really you never know what can happen when you enter beyond these walls. Muahahahahahaha." Celia had attempted to laugh evilly but unfortunately her attempt was not all that convincingly evil.

"Well, come on feet."(2) I began to walk one foot at a time with Celia along the whole way.

"Abbie" Celia said with a 'what the heck are you doing' kind of look on her face, "you don't have to start reciting lines. we're already at the castle of the goblin king. Whom, might I add, looks great in those pant I saw him wearing earlier when was captured." I looked at her and nodded my head with a determined stare.

"You're right, Celia. I bet he does look good in those pants."

We began walking through the hallways.

"My God, it smells like Goblins in here!" I all but yelled.

"Durr", Celia said, "It's the castle beyond the GOBLIN city. Goblins smell. They smell really bad." she turned to face me, "How do you know what goblins smell like?"

"Lucky guess" I was not about to tell Celia that I was secretly abducted by aliens and that they gave me special smelling powers." She seemed to accept that answer.. for now, anyways.

"Okay, I think we better get a move on. Ya know, if we want to get to the throne room before nightfall" Celia stated.

"Um, have you been watching movies where they go out into the forest on a camping trip, only to be faced with impossible obstacles, then go out to get firewood, attacked by a bear and come back to camp to find that rabid raccoons have eaten all their food forcing them to go back into the bear infested woods to search for food so they can survive and then the macho guy says 'We better get a move on if we want to be back at camp before nightfall' again?" I breathed heavily. Talking that much can take a toll on you.

Celia blushed, "No"

"You lie!" I shouted, "You criminal! SOCIETY!"

Celia shushed me, "You are loud" I smiled.

0000000

"Are we there yet?" I asked.

"No"

"How 'bout now?"

"No"

"Now?"

"NO!"

"Can I have a fruit roll up?"

"No!"

I pouted. "I have to go to the bathroom"

Celia sighed. But then a thought popped into her pea sized brain. "Oh my goodness. I've just realized something, Abigail"

I then started to snicker.

"What's so funny" Celia pondered, confused

"Its just that you never realize anything."

"Hey Abbie" Celia pointed one of her many boney fingers at me. "Let's not get smart. But as I was saying, Beth is GONE." Beth had come to the labyrinth with us, but somewhere along that way she disappeared. I knew all of this because I am very observant, Celia is not.

"Well, duh" I duhed her, "of course she is. I already knew that."

"Well, why didn't you say anything?"

"Because you're stupid and I wanted to see how long it would take you to notice, duh."

"Abbie, I'm sorry, but this is no time for mind games. This is a time of seriousness."

"Okay. Um, Celia I don't know how to tell you this but this whole experience has been a mind game, duh."

"Abbie, how many times are you gonna 'duh' me?"

"However many times it takes before you knock me unconscious. Hehehehehe"

"You're an idiot."

"I know you are but what am I." I had a feeling this would have stumped her, but sadly it did not.

"You're an idiot." I let her get away with this one, it took her close to minute to figure what to say. " Now come on, we have to find Beth. I will never leave without her."

Then magically a big poof of pink sparkly dust came right in front of us. It was beautiful.

"Oh my God! it's the Good witch of the North." Celia jumped up and down excitedly.

But then from out of the cloud came a tall skinny man who was falling and stumbling because his hair was so freakin' big. I could already tell exactly who it was.

"Oh, never mind." Celia continued. "It's just the Goblin King. What a fag"

I couldn't believe he was standing right there, in front of me. The character every child imagines, well, I mean usually it's only in their nightmares, but he was right there. The Goblin King.

"Told you he looks good in the pants" Celia whispered.

I grinned, grabbing her wrist and pulling Celia behind a nearby corner.

"Why did you that? I thought you wanted to meet him?" Celia asked, clearly confused.

"Not now, we need to get some things sorted out before we go prancing in there".

Celia nodded and began to say something, but was cut off by a gruff voice.

"Yea, we need to get you two ready."

"Hoggle?" I asked, hopefully.

The thing standing in front of us groaned "Oh, it's HIGGLE!"

"Ohhhkkkaaaay". I was pretty sure he was lying, "Why do we need to get ready? What are we getting ready for?"

"The wedding, of course. We need to get you two dressed, you cannot attend a wedding dressed like that", Higgle pointed at our clothes, "Not to worry, I'll take you to your rooms." Higgle trotted off down the corridor.

Celia and I looked at each other, "Our rooms?" we asked in unison.

"We haven't got all day!" Higgle exclaimed, standing with his hands on his hips.

I looked at Celia, smiled and skipped down to where Higgle was standing, "We haven't got all day, Celia, c'mon!" Celia booked it.

0000000

An hour or so later, Celia and I were standing in front of the mirror in my room, gawking.

"Damn, we look good" I laughed.

"Quite gangster, if I do say so myself" Celia replied. (3)

I was wearing a sleeveless sage-green gown that tied up at the back. My hair was left down and it was curly. They made me wear heels. You do not make Abbie Minor wear heels. As if I need to be any taller.

Celia was wearing an almost white, yellow gown with big, puffy sleeves. I stifled a laugh when I first saw her. I defiantly got the better dress. Her hair was pulled back, a few curly strands framed her face.

"Kid, we don't have dates!" I said, "We are going to look S-T-U-P-I-D!"

"We're going to look _what_?" Obviously, being out of school for two months had mushed Celia's brain. She had forgotten how to spell.

"Stupid, stupid!" I said, fluffing one of her puffy sleeves. I was never letting her forget this.

"Man, I wish we had dates" Celia sighed.

"_Famous_ dates" I added.

0000000

(1) Celia's answer to a question for our yearbook survey:

If you were stranded on a desert island what would you bring?

My friends, a digital camera, a laptop, some sorts of floating device, and band aids 'cause you never know.

(2) My answer for 'Favourite Saying' on the year book survey.

(3) EVERYTHING is gangster to Celia.

**Well, there it is. The first chapter. YEE! We doubt the other chapters will as long and this may or may not be updated for a while.**

**Reviews are greatly appreciated. :D**


	2. Part Deux: Weddingish

**Author's Note:** Whoo, chapter two. Took us long enough? Anywho, this is the wedding. HAHA. It sucks. Yea, and this is where you read now.

**Disclaimer:** Hmm, we don't own Maury Povich or David Bowie or anything else that you have already heard of.

* * *

**Part Deux  
The Wedding-ish Part**

I plonked onto the bed behind me, sighing dramatically. It was a nice bed. A very nice bed, indeed.

"Shouldn't Higgle be here by now?" I asked.

"I think so." Celia replied, hardly paying attention.

I got up and began to puff one of Celia's sleeves, again. Both of our heads whipped around, looked at the ceiling, which now had two very large holes in it, and then at the floor.

There sat Maury Povich and, gosh darn it, I could barely believe it, David Bowie.

I nudged Celia, "Didn't your mom have a one night stand with him?" I asked, nodding my head toward David. (1)

"Yeup"

"Kid, he could be your father!" I said, "Does Jeff know?"

"No" She answered, simply.

"Wouldn't that be awesome though? You know, if he was your Dad."

"Yea, that would be amazing."

Celia and I stood there, dumbfounded.

Randomly Celia yelled, "I get Maury!" and darted toward the very confused sixty-seven year old.

I looked at the last man remaining on the floor and smiled. I was inwardly kicking and punching and pulling my hair for not saying anything. I glanced over at Celia and Maury, they seemed to be, or Celia seemed to be talking. I offered my hand to help David up, "Hey, I'm Abbie"

"Uh, where am I?" He asked.

"Let's leave that till we get a couple drinks into ya system at the reception". I actually meant until we got a couple drinks into my system at the reception. I was not going to explain this until I was drunk. Okay, so I'm fourteen, I shouldn't be drinking. Whatever, I was going to get some alcohol.

"Ready to go?" I asked, looking at my friend and the TV host.

"Yeah." Celia was beaming.

I have no clue where the wedding was being held, but oh my, it sure was pretty. Everything was silver. Silver, silver, silver and, oh, look, some more silver. We were escorted to our seats, which were toward the front.

"Look at that tall man over there!" Celia whispered, pointing at the door.(2)

Unfortunately, he sat right in front of me. Darn.

I tapped his shoulder and politely told him that he better move his ass before Celia got all gangster on him. He ran.

An hour later we sat, in the middle of the ceremony. We still didn't know who the bride was, damn veil. We could, however, tell that she was short.

I turned to Celia and yawned dramatically and she tried not to laugh. We continued our sign language conversation for a few more minutes before Celia shushed me and motioned toward the altar. Were we finally going to see who the bride was?

Slowly, but surely, Jareth started to remove the veil. I was straightening out an invisible crease on the dress I was wearing.

"And I now pronounce you husband and--"

"WAITTTTTTTTT!"

Everyone turned their heads to the door at the back.

Celia and I jumped up and gasped when we saw who the bride was and then gasped again when we saw who the intruder was.

The Goblin King was shocked.

And the bride screamed.

* * *

**Oh, a cliffy type ending.  
**Sorta shortesh, whatev.

(1) A little inside joke between Celia and Abbie. We don't think it needs to be explained.

(2) Another inside joke, but between a group of us. Our principal last year was like TALL. One day, last year, Celia was high or something and randomly pointed at Mr. Rossi and said "Look at the tall man over there" In a english accent. It was a bad english accent, by the way.

There it is.  
Oooooo.  
And we think is the where you review, if you're nice. Which you all are, RIGHT?


	3. Part Troix: Surprise Surprise

A/N: Whoo, an update? Pretty fast, eh? This was written by Abbie and Beth, over MSN. Ohk, there is lots and lots and lots of dialogue in this, hardly any plot and it's uber short. Oh well.

Disclaimer: We dun own nothin'.

* * *

**Part Troix**  
**Surprise, Suprise.**

The priest type-ish guy dude tried again. "Ahem, I now pronounce you husband and--"

Celia and I cut in, "BBEETTHH?"

Beth shrugged.

"But, why?" I asked.

"Would you believe me if I said it was for the money?"

Celia spoke, "No".

"Kay, erm... Then I did it because I lo--"

"Beth, don't lie."

"ARGH, I give up!" Beth turned to Jareth, he wasn't paying attention. Beth whipped around so fast that she lost her balance and fell, on her little tushy. I laughed. She glared at me, got up and walked out of the... wherever we were.

She got up the woman standing at the back, "And you! You.. you, you, I duno what you did but it's really bad and I'm mad at your for it"

And Beth took her exit.

Celia and I sat back down, completely confused. Beth totally hates the Goblin King, she would scream and run away whenever Celia or I would mention the word 'king'. I've never been more stumped in my life.

I yawned, totally oblivious of the conversation going on between Jareth and the woman.

Celia hit me.

And hit me, again.

Another time, for good measure.

"WHAT?"

"Look, over yonder, is that..."

"Sarah? No, it couldn't be. I met her once at a comic book convention and she said that she was happily married to some famous guy. So, no, it cannot be."

"But it is!"

"No way!"

"Uh, yeah"

"NO WAY!"

"Look for yourself, and while you're at it, shut up" She took hold of my head and turned it toward the isle.

Yea, I was wrong, it was Sarah.

I guess I was kinda out of it, 'cause by the time I realised what was going on, Sarah was married.

And not to some famous guy.

* * *

I've got nothing to say.

So, yeah, yawl review.  
All the cool kids are doin' it.


	4. Another Wedding?

ALRIGHTY. Second last chapter. Not that anybody cares.

Disclaimer: Anything you reconize, we don't own it, kay? Good.

* * *

Beth was gone, Sarah and Jareth got married, I was sitting there with my mouth open, really craving chips, David was just... there, Celia was clinging to Maury's arm like a madwoman and everyone else was cheering. For what? I duno.

Celia stood up, snapped her fingers, and tried to get the priest-ish type dude's attention.

It worked.

"Yes?" He said it like one of those creepy butlers in movies.

"Maury and I want to get hitched!" She announced.

"Um, excuse me?" I asked.

"Oh, don't worry Abbie, you can be my maid of honour." That's SO not what I was worried about.

I grabbed Celia's boney hand and pulled her away from the crowd, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKIN'? HE'S LIKE FIFTY BILLION YEARS OLDER THEN YOU! GOSH, KID, YOU'RE NOT EVEN DONE YOUR FIRST YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL!"

"It's no different than if you were marrying David Bowie." She replied calmly.

"Oh, well, yea, I guess that makes sense, EXCEPT I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED TO HIM!" I was a little mad.

"I don't care what you say, I'm getting married to him." She pushed me away and stomped over to the alter and proceeded to get married. I was pretty dang sure that Celia drugged Maury, you never know that child has up her sleeves. I mean, c'mon, you can hid anything in puffy sleeves.

* * *

I covered my eyes while Celia made the biggest mistake of her life. Sarah and Jareth disappeared somewhere after they got hitched, but came back before Celia and Maury said their vows, which, might I add, were very long and boring, their clothes were ruffled and Jareth was wearing red lipstick. I bit my hand to stop me from laughing, I just shook instead, and probably looked even more foolish. 

Everyone was happy and cheering again, this time for Celia and Maury, who looked stoned, until one rather large woman wearing a purple gown screamed. I covered my hears and looked around to see what she was screaming about. I saw nothing. It wasn't until everyone crowded around David and I and a man standing to my right said that David was impersonating the king, that I clued into what was going on.

I zone out a lot.

* * *

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN. 

Celia and Maury? WTFH? Isn't he married? Oh well, it just sort of happened.  
We seriously need to bring Beth back into this, like, pronto.


End file.
